Recently a reader was led to my blog by searching “tired of failing at weight loss and having to start over”. I’m not sure how or why that search led them here, since it directed them to my Orangetheory review, which isn’t really about weight loss failures. Maybe I was meant to see their search and write THIS post. Maybe that person will see THIS post and find some comfort and empowerment in what I’m about to say. So to this mystery blog reader, let me start off first by saying this:
It is OK to be tired.
It is OK to fail. And it is most definitely OK to have to start over.
What’s most important is that you NEVER stop starting.
You see, I don’t’ think failure is really a “fail” until that moment when a person stops trying. To me…
A weight gain does not equal failure.
A “cheat day” does not equal failure.
A day where you don’t exercise does not equal failure.
Saying that you’ll “start again on Monday” does not equal failure.
Having to buy a larger size pair of jeans does not equal failure.
A week of “not dieting” does not equal failure.
Because you know what? Life happens. And that is GREAT.
Let me explain.
I’ve been “overweight” most of my life. I was always the “fattest” child in elementary school. The girl that was never asked to prom. The woman who settled for less than what she deserved as an adult because of that “fat” mentality from childhood. At 35 years old, I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot because of my weight.
When I decided to “get healthy” a few years ago (notice I didn’t say ‘lose weight’), it was a decision I made knowing that it was something that would benefit my body. It was about making my time here on Earth long and meaningful. It had nothing to do with appearance then, nor does it now. Because truth be told, when I hit my 30’s I realized that we have one life, and it’s our job to make it special and significant. That mentality stuck even more when I lost my mom.
If we wait until we’re “under 200lbs”, a “size 6”, “able to run a 5k without stopping” or able to “wear a swimsuit”, then you know what? Life passes you by. And before you know it, you’re 85, looking behind you at a lifetime of “coulda, woulda, shouldas” instead of “wow, look at all I did!”.
I mean think about it. While you’re waiting to meet your “ultimate goals”, where does that time go? What happens to those minutes in between your goals? What’s happening to them? Are they being washed away by your tears? Crushed by insecurities? Put on the back burner? Don’t those minutes matter? Shouldn’t they be special too? Why is it the minutes AFTER goals are met are the only ones that count? It seems like an awful waste of precious time. Life isn’t about waiting for end results. It’s about finding value, happiness, purpose and worth in EVERY single one of life’s moments.
Being healthy is a lifestyle. Reaching and setting goals is ongoing. Part of that process might be failure. There may be a setback or two or 100. But at no time should you wait until you’ve reached your best self in order to be happy. Healthy is not about being skinny. It’s not about fitting into small clothes. It’s not about being able to run a marathon. Healthy is about always positively working towards those goals that make you the best version of yourself, enjoying the process, and making the moments in between a size 22 and a size 8 COUNT. It’s about putting yourself out there, going on adventures, trying new things, giving back, and spending time with the ones you love most.
Embrace and overcome your failures; stop going to battle with them. Learn from the past, dream about the future, BUT don’t forget to LIVE in the present! Love yourself, and celebrate small successes. Who cares if you’re not where you want to be yet. Remember who you were, where you are now, and where you want to be. And above all else, always be your own biggest supporter.
As long as you keep moving forward, you’ve met the most challenging goal of all.